When Couples Have Different Views on Social Distancing

It has now been almost six months since the term “social distancing” was introduced into our lives. That is half of a year. It’s easy to start feeling burnt out from social distancing. We’re human and crave social connections. Now people are figuring out how to “be” and where their comfort zones lie as the country reopens. It can be tough being in a relationship and your partner doesn’t feel the same way about social distancing. 

So, what do you do when you and your partner disagree on how to move around in this current world?

Talk to each other and have an honest, open discussion about what you both are feeling. Make sure you hear what the other is saying even if you disagree. Listen if they are tired of staying at home and want normalcy. Listen if they are cautious about being around people outside of home and worried about themselves and the people they care about. This will help you understand each other’s needs better.

Ask questions about feelings that may come up. For instance if your partner seems concerned about finances you could try digging deeper and ask if they’re worried about money or losing their job. If they are feeling isolated or lonely then figure out ways to help them stay connected that makes you both feel comfortable and safe. Show you’re willing to see their perspective.

When you feel yourself growing judgemental, try to have empathy instead. This might mean taking a moment to center yourself before the conversation or taking a break in the middle of the discussion if you feel you’re getting too heated.

In normal times we would try to compromise, but these aren’t normal times, and compromising can be challenging. Talk to your partner about what they would be comfortable with if you were to be around people. Some couples have created circles of people who they feel comfortable being around during this. Be sure to make your boundaries clear.

Try your best to sort through what is feeling versus fact. We interpret information in different ways and when making decisions it is best to make them when looking at facts and science.

Avoid bringing outside influences into the discussion. What other people are doing during this time does not pertain to you and your partner.

Continue to check in on each other. Since everything is uncertain it’s important to keep that line of communication open. Don’t make assumptions about how each other is feeling.

This too shall pass. 

Emotional safety is an important building block in the foundation of a secure and healthy relationship. It helps us navigate change, crisis, challenges, etc. When we are in emotionally healthy relationships we feel heard, understood, validated, empathized with, prioritized, and respected. 

It’s hard not knowing when social distancing will end. The uncertainty can make it harder to hold on, but it’s important to stay vigilant. Be intentional about your time together and find creative ways to keep your relationship strong. Communicating with each other will help keep each other feeling secure.

Here are some ideas on things to do together:

• 14 Fun Activities For Couples While Social-Distancing
• 25 Activities For Couples Confined To Their Home